


baby steps

by ndnickerson



Series: baby steps [2]
Category: Nancy Drew - Carolyn Keene
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M, First Time, Fondling, Loss of Virginity, Missionary Position, Oral Sex, Safer Sex, Sharing a Bed, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 14:22:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5788663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ndnickerson/pseuds/ndnickerson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nancy decides she's ready; she's just not sure how to tell Ned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	baby steps

Nancy had changed. She knew she had, every time she glanced over at the duffel bag in the passenger seat of her car. She blushed, but she didn't turn around, didn't turn back.

She didn't know why—why this time, why now, but the timing had just felt right. Maybe it was because she was coming here alone, without Bess and George; maybe it was because she and Ned had been stealing all the time they could together all summer, and it hadn't been enough, not even by half. Maybe she...

But she didn't know. She wasn't sure. But she had a feeling.

She hadn't been able to talk to Bess and George about this. When she and Ned had started dating, though, she hadn't been able to _stop_ talking about him. Since they had met, Ned had been the sweetest, most considerate guy she had ever known. He was handsome and brave, he loved giving her little gifts and spending time with her, and his kisses were enough to make her knees weak. She loved him completely, and Bess and George were more than thoroughly aware of it, especially when they went with her to Emerson.

But Bess and George didn't have steady boyfriends, and Nancy could sense that they tolerated her happiness, but they were a little jealous, and maybe even tired of it. Maybe, to them, her joy came off as bragging. Oh, Bess's eyes had lit up with interest and some kind of vicarious joy when Nancy had admitted that she and Ned had shared a bed for the first time, but all they had done was kiss and hold each other; that was all. It had been exciting, to be so close to him, to be doing something forbidden, but she trusted him. She knew he would never hurt her or do anything she didn't want him to do. She could tell that Bess had wanted it to be more than that, steamy kisses that led to more, but he wasn't like that, and Nancy was glad. By the time anything more happened, the fact that she was sharing a bed with her boyfriend every time they visited Emerson was old news.

It started slow. Longer kisses, the feel of his lips against the column of her throat, his fingertips against the small of her back. He didn't cajole her or wheedle her, but he did ask her where the line was, and then seemed to come right up to it. If she told him that she didn't want to take any clothes off, sometimes he slid his hands under her shirt and caressed her bare skin while they kissed. If she said her bra couldn't come off, that didn't mean he couldn't cup her breasts through it...

She was thrilled by it, even during those times she pulled back and made herself tell him that they needed to stop. The first few times, she had been afraid he would ignore her and keep going, somehow crazed with lust and driven entirely by raging hormones, but that hadn't happened. Every time he proved himself willing to listen to her, to respect the lines she drew even if he stepped right up to them, she trusted him a little more. If his hands had already been all over her bra, then surely it wouldn't be that much of a leap to let him take her nightgown off...

That was how the summer had been, a series of baby steps. Between his work schedule and her cases and how often their parents were home, though, it had been hard to get away and spend time together alone. The one time she had been desperate enough to agree to a makeout-point date with him, they had been spotted on the way by a suspect in one of her cases, and the rest of their evening had turned into a crazy pursuit.

Given their trajectory, though, she was telling herself that the little detour she had made on her way to Emerson wasn't frivolous, it was... intelligent. It wasn't saying that certain activities were inevitable, just... possible. Not now, not tonight, maybe not even this trip...

Nancy sighed, scrunching her nose to shift her sunglasses up as her knuckle nudged the radio's seek button. Usually Bess handled the road trip song mixes, plugging her MP3 player into the aux port on Nancy's stereo and regaling them with long-forgotten favorites or bleeding-edge pop. That had been a relief, when Nancy had been training herself not to talk about Ned so much. Her friends had to be tired of it. She knew she would have been; she _had_ been, whenever Bess had a new boyfriend and absolutely couldn't shut up about how sweet or charming or absolutely the next big thing he apparently was. Mostly because, within twelve hours, the guy in question had managed to show his true colors.

But that had never happened with Ned, and never would.

_Ned._ Oh, just the thought of him, his dark wavy hair, sweet dark eyes, lips curving up in a smile, his handsome square-jawed face... and what would he say, if she told him what was in her duffel bag?

Nancy immediately shook her head at the thought, a fresh blush rising in her cheeks. Then she caught her reflection in the rearview mirror. Nothing special about her. Reddish-gold hair skimmed back into a ponytail, a dusting of freckles on her cheeks, ordinary blue eyes hidden behind the lenses of her sunglasses. She wasn't even wearing the mascara and powder Bess had advised her to put on whenever she was leaving the house, just a swipe of berry-pink gloss that gave her lips a gleaming pout.

Maybe Ned didn't feel this way about her. Oh God, she would be mortified if he told her that he was fine with fooling around, but taking that step...

"Get a grip, Drew," she muttered to herself, adjusting her hold on the steering wheel and setting her jaw. "You're just freaking out over nothing. Everything will be fine."

But what if it hurt...

By the time she reached Emerson and negotiated a turn onto a tree-lined lane, she had made up her mind. She wasn't going to bring it up. If he asked her where the line was during this trip and she didn't lose her nerve, maybe she would mention it. If things just naturally... progressed that way, maybe she wouldn't stop him. But it would be a lot of pressure to mention it, and if she changed her mind, she didn't want to leave him disappointed and maybe a little ticked off.

It would be different if she doubted her feelings for him, or if she thought that what was between them would ever change. She didn't. They loved each other, and he had made no secret of the fact that he wanted to marry her one day, once he graduated Emerson and could provide for them. His devotion to her was clear to anyone.

When she thought of it that way, all that stood between them and taking the next step was her willingness. She didn't know when it had happened, but a part of her already knew that he was going to be her first, that they would become lovers, soon or on their wedding night or somewhere inbetween. It was undeniable.

And yet, when she thought about how she could possibly let him know that she might be ready... she froze, mortified. It wasn't an auspicious beginning, but there was nothing she could do about it. Maybe, she reasoned, she had been so used to saying no that she was having to adjust to the idea of maybe saying yes.

They had driven the route so much that the door to the Omega house swung open just as she pulled into the small lot beside it, with perfect timing. She had texted Ned when she had made her last stop, letting him know how far away she was, and he was clearly just as anxious to see her as she was to see him. Ned bounded down the stairs, a grin already lighting up his handsome face as he came toward her car.

"Hey, beautiful. It's been too long."

Ned was standing there, elbow resting on the hood of her car, gazing down at her, and the light in his eyes was enough to take her breath away. He loved her. Somehow, even though she had never deserved it, he loved _her_. It was unfathomable.

And then she stood and he wrapped her in his arms, holding her tight, and her joy was too much for her body to contain. She wrapped her arms around him too, relaxing against him, breathing in the familiar smell of him, his mother's laundry detergent and his soap and cologne. God, how she had longed for this more than anything else.

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Nan." He nuzzled against her cheek, pressing his lips against her skin in a soft kiss. "I've been counting the minutes."

She chuckled, then gave him one last squeeze before releasing him. "Well, I've been counting the seconds."

Spending so many hours at the wheel of her car left Nancy feeling exhausted, so Ned had planned a low-key evening of delivery pizza and hanging out with the guys. So early in the semester, the brothers were planning their rush party and their first big community service project for the fall. The portable whiteboard in the corner was still covered with jotted ideas and notes. Nancy spotted some other girlfriends, including some Theta Pi sisters, but she was too tired to manage more than a friendly wave and smile. It was easier to just listen to Ned talk to Paul and Howie and Mike, to smile without commenting when she sagged against Ned's side, his arm slung around her, and one of the other guys said she must be about to pass out. It wouldn't be tonight; she already knew that. She didn't have the energy.

Ned carried her duffel bag and her suitcase upstairs for her, and she had to force herself to brush her teeth and wash her face before bed. All she wanted to do was climb into his bed and fall asleep in his arms. Since the first night she had hesitantly accepted his invitation to do that, she had loved it. He was warm when he slept, and she couldn't just sprawl out over the entire bed, but it was worth it. It was all more than worth it.

"I'll be right back," he told her, and she relaxed on her side of the bed, the covers pulled up to just under her chin. She barely mustered the stamina to plug her cell phone in, and she was stifling an enormous yawn when Ned returned.

"You do look beat, Nan. You okay?"

"I will be," she said with a little sigh, smiling as Ned slid beneath the covers too and reached for her. She nestled against him, her arm over his side and his knee between hers. "Mmm. After about nine hours of sleep."

Ned chuckled. "We'll see," he murmured, and kissed the crown of her head. "Good night, babe. I love you."

"Love you too," she murmured, closing her eyes. When she was in his arms this way, she felt like she would never get to sleep—but she was so content and relaxed that she began to drift off almost immediately.

She was dead to the world, cuddled against Ned, and when she slowly opened her eyes again, the sun was just coming through the blinds.

And she had her favorite view of him. His face was a golden tan from all his time outside, and his cheeks were lined with sun-kissed stubble, his lowered lashes brushed with gold. He looked so peaceful and vulnerable.

Ned shared all of himself with her. He always had. He had wanted her to be a part of his life, and he had been hurt when she had resisted that early in their relationship. Nancy had never, ever wanted to depend on anyone, as much as she could possibly help it. She had never wanted to be exposed or hurt, and opening herself up to Ned in any way had been almost unthinkable. None of her relationships before him had ever worked out; every other guy she had ever dated had always been temporary. Gone before they could get too close. She had preferred that.

But Ned... he had been patient with her, as patient as he could be. Somehow, without her noticing, he had become her closest friend, someone she trusted completely. He had become so much a part of her life that she was terrified by the idea of losing him.

Seeing him this way was achingly domestic, and she imagined, with a little thrill of nervous glee, how it would be to wake up like this almost every morning. In his arms she felt safe, loved, and trusted. He trusted her not to hurt him. He trusted her to share his bed and guard his heart.

Then he stirred a little. "Mmm. 'mere."

He fumbled for her, his eyes still closed, to draw her back against him. She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Be right back."

The Omega house was quiet. The guys who had headed out for crack-of-dawn workouts were already gone, and those who were sleeping in before late classes were still in bed. Nancy knew that Ned usually went for a run in the morning, but when she returned to his room, he wasn't tugging on his running shoes. His hair was rumpled, but he had gone to the bathroom just as she had, and was sitting on his side of the bed again.

"Did you want to go get some breakfast?"

She glanced at the clock. It was still early. "How long before you have to get ready?"

"Oh, we have plenty of time."

"Do we have to get up just yet?"

He chuckled and shook his head, pulling the covers back. "Definitely not. You like sleeping together, huh?"

She smiled, although she could feel that her cheeks were a little warm. He meant just sleeping, but she couldn't help thinking about it the other way. "Yeah," she murmured, and cuddled against him again, releasing a happy sigh.

"I mean, it's always nice to share my bed with you," he murmured, his palm stroking down her back. She shivered a little when his fingertips followed the line of her spine almost all the way down. "I just wish we hadn't been so tired..."

_Now._ Now would be the perfect time... but, even if Ned didn't have class for an hour or so, she still was nervous they would be interrupted by something, one of Ned's Omega brothers coming by to ask if they wanted to get breakfast or an alarm clock going off. "Yeah," she whispered, not trusting herself to look into his eyes. "Guess we'll just have to go to bed early tonight."

"Mmm-hmm."

Ned's hand slid beneath her shirt, resting against the small of her back, and she was both excited by it and afraid to react. She and Ned had done more, but she was tired and he didn't do anything else.

Nancy closed her eyes. She imagined him sliding her shirt up and holding her close to him, feeling his skin against hers, and swallowed. It was what she wanted, but there was so much... it was so much, the thought of being with him that way.

She woke to the feel of him kissing her forehead, and released a quiet sigh as he moved back and looked into her eyes. "Have to get up," he murmured, regret on his face.

"Mmm," she murmured, reaching up and cupping his cheek. "Okay."

He smiled. "Want to come to class with me?"

Her answering smile became a grin. "If I did, you wouldn't pay attention," she replied.

"Only one way to find out." He nuzzled against her cheek. "Seriously, Nan, you can come with me. Or go hang out at the Theta house for a while. I'm sure the girls would love to see you."

That day Nancy went over to visit the girls at the Theta house, and ended up going to the mall with Mindy and Trish. When they passed in front of a lingerie store, Nancy's gaze lingered on the faceless forms in the window, wearing lace and satin and silk. She hadn't brought anything like that with her on her trip; before she had bought the condoms, she hadn't even been sure if she wanted to do this. There was no way she could stop now and buy a little nightie to wear for Ned, not while she was with Mindy and Trish. She would be way too embarrassed.

It wasn't like the Theta girls didn't know she was sleeping at the Omega house. It wasn't like Bess and George didn't know. But it was something altogether different to acknowledge it to them like this, to intentionally buy lingerie, even though she had no doubt they would be happy for her. She didn't want to jinx it that way. She didn't want to see their knowing glances, or hear the smirking questions. It was between the two of them, and she wanted it to stay that way.

Still, for the rest of that day, she wondered about it. She wondered what he would have done if she had bought something like that, if she had put it on for him... and again she was struck by the fear that, despite all that had happened between them, he might not want to take that step with her. That if she went to him that way, that maybe she might lose her nerve, that he would be hurt if she offered herself and then changed her mind.

She had always been afraid of being vulnerable, and though she knew Ned would never intentionally hurt her, it still scared her. Oh, he had hurt her beyond words when he had broken up with her, but that experience, as painful as it had been, had taught them both how much they needed each other. Ned's life would be so much easier and less stressful without Nancy in it, but without Ned, Nancy felt like she had lost her center, lost all that kept her anchored. She never wanted to ruin what they had.

When they returned, Ned was at practice, and Nancy picked up a hooded sweatshirt and headed out to the field. At first, Emerson had been a little intimidating, but now Nancy knew the campus like the back of her hand. She waved at students she recognized as she walked through the quad.

The practice field was near the gym, and Nancy climbed up into the bleachers for a good view. A few other clusters of students were observing too, and it took Nancy a moment to pick out her boyfriend. He wasn't wearing his usual number, but then he glanced up at her and their eyes met, and her heart rose. She gave him a little wave and he waved back. When the coach called for a water break, Ned tugged his helmet off and jogged toward the bleachers, his gaze finding hers again.

"Hey gorgeous."

"Hey handsome," she called back, dimly aware that a few of the students were glancing between them, but she didn't really care. Everyone knew she and Ned were dating. When he blew her a kiss, she blushed a little, but she couldn't help laughing.

She loved watching him. She hated that he could be hurt, though, despite all the thick padding and protective gear he wore, and she tensed every time she sensed that he might be tackled. Then she realized that Ned would probably give her a withering stare if she mentioned it. Nancy was often in danger, and she tended to brush off anyone else's concern about it. Ned trained for this, he was in peak physical condition, and at least this was relatively controlled.

And he was so good. He was incredible at every sport he tried, and to her, no one else on the field was anywhere near him. His body was muscular and fit, and his long legs moved so fast when he was trying for an interception, or to elude a tackler.

She sounded like Bess. Nancy smiled a little to herself. She was just as lovesick and infatuated as Bess had ever been, but it was so much more than that. She loved him more than she had ever been able to say.

That night, after dinner, she and Ned only stayed downstairs hanging out with the guys for a little while. Ned kept glancing at her, and she recognized his expression. She was hoping that he was thinking the same thing she was.

In his room, as soon as the door was closed, she was wrapped in Ned's arms and his lips were pressed to hers. She slid her arms up around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair. She couldn't help it; her heart was beating faster, at the thought of what might come next. Over the summer, during the spring semester, they had been so close, and she wanted to be close to him again.

His palms cupped her hips, and he kissed the corner of her mouth, then smiled at her. "Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," she murmured. "I love you."

"I love you too," he murmured. "Thanks for coming out to watch practice. I loved seeing you there."

"And I loved watching you," she said, searching his eyes. "I love being here with you. Especially... like this."

His eyebrows went up, and a grin lit his handsome face. "Me too," he said. "Maybe we could get comfortable?"

"Okay," she whispered, and when his fingertips brushed the hem of her shirt, she shivered, her lashes fluttering down. He began to draw it up, and she found herself looking down, suddenly shy. She hadn't always been comfortable being less than fully clothed around him, and even now, the brush of his bare skin against hers made her flinch. How would she be able to do anything more with him, when just this made her so—she didn't even have words for it. She wasn't uncomfortable; she just felt so anxious.

As soon as he had taken her shirt off, he wrapped his arms around her again, and she relaxed against him, closing her eyes. "You okay?" he murmured. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm just—nervous."

"Don't be." He dropped a kiss on top of her head. "Look, let's just... get ready for bed, and if you want, we could just... see if you like being naked. Maybe?"

She could feel her heart beating hard in her throat; she knew her cheeks were flushing, even though he couldn't see them. "Would you be, too?" she whispered.

"If you wanted me to be." He kept one arm wrapped around her waist and stroked the other over her hair. "We could just try our underwear, at first."

He had touched her through her clothes, before, and she had been anxious then too, but she had loved being close to him, and the sincere happiness she had seen on his face. He wanted this with her, and he wanted her to enjoy it. She wanted to.

They laid down together, teeth brushed, in their underwear. The lights were off and they were under the covers, and he couldn't see her. She felt self-conscious about her plain beige bra and plain flower-sprigged panties; they weren't the seductive lingerie she had seen in the shop window, and they were hardly alluring. But at least he couldn't see them now.

"Is this okay?"

"Y-yes." She wanted to sound confident and sexy; she sounded timid and scared. She closed her eyes tightly, taking a breath to try again, when his hand brushed her bare side. She ended up letting out a sound somewhere between a whimper and a gasp.

"Shh. C'mere," he murmured, drawing her close to him, so she was pressed against him. He was dressed only in his boxers, which wasn't so unusual, but only her underwear separated their upper bodies, and it was very intense to feel so much of his skin, warm and firm, against hers. "It's all right."

When he touched her cheek, she knew he was going to kiss her, and she felt herself blushing again. Their lips touched and hers parted almost immediately, and a bolt of arousal shot down her spine as his tongue slid into her mouth, as she felt him move and partially pin her to the bed. She wanted to be his, completely his, fully claimed, and it was intoxicating to give him control. To let him do what he wanted.

He kissed her, and she took a breath before she wrapped her arm around him, her palm resting against his bare back. She was so very aware of him, of his weight and the feel of his skin against hers. The last time they had been together in bed like this... she shivered a little when she remembered it.

What shook her to the core... but all of it did, when they were like this. His palms against her bare flesh, the tenderness when he nuzzled against her, his tongue tracing the curve of her earlobe, all of it was almost too intense for her to bear. His love and desire for her were so clear, when they were like this. She wanted to lose herself in it.

He moved onto his side, pulling her with him, and her heart skipped a beat. His fingertips traced down her spine, to her bra closure, and she whimpered quietly. Her back arched, and Ned made a soft pleased sound. She felt the elastic's pressure release as he unfastened her bra.

He had touched her through it before, but when he slid the garment off, she shivered with anticipation. His skin was so warm against her bare breasts, and she felt a gentle pulse between her thighs when he cupped one, stroking her hardened nipple with his thumb.

This. This was why she had bought the condoms. This ache, this longing, and how right it would be to let him join to her. She was drunk with it, drunk with longing and need. He nuzzled against her cheek, caressing her breasts and fondling her nipples, and she released a quiet moan.

"Good?"

"Yes," she whispered, her lashes low. "Oh..."

"I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered immediately. It was incredible, how amazing it felt, what he was doing to her, with her. "Feels so good..."

"Mmm." He kissed her neck. "And this?"

She arched, releasing a quiet whimpering cry when he slid his hand beneath the band of her panties and cupped the join of her thighs. His other hand was still fondling her nipple and breast, and she couldn't catch her breath, couldn't feel anything other than his touch. He gently traced and explored the join of her thighs with his fingertips, and she released a pleading moan, her lips seeking his.

_Now. Please, now. Before I lose my nerve._

But she didn't know how to say it; she could only show him. Oh God, she needed him. She needed this.

He kissed her, long and deep, and then guided his other hand down so he could slip her underwear down her thighs. She shuddered, moving slowly, lost in a dream, the dream they shared. She didn't protest or fight him. She didn't want to.

When he came back to her, laying down with her, he was naked too. He touched her bare belly and she couldn't keep herself from flinching. She was so sensitive, and even though she knew Ned wouldn't hurt her, she felt nervous.

"It's all right." She could hear the smile in his voice, but there was nervousness there too. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm okay."

"Do you want..."

There was something so purely elemental about it. They were defenseless, exposed to each other, and his skin was so warm against hers. When their bodies touched, when they embraced, she couldn't stop trembling and she didn't know why.

"Shh. It's okay, Nan."

"I know," she whispered. They had never been like this before. She didn't know what to do. She could feel him, that part of him that was aroused when they were like this, and it was firm and warm and—and so strange, so...

It wasn't a threat. But she understood. It was his way of letting her know that they could take things further, if she wanted. She was just so afraid of what that might mean... and she had been hoping that during this trip, they could finally take that step.

She made a quiet noise, frustrated by her fear and naiveté. If they remained this close all night, so vulnerable, she didn't know what that would mean, if something might accidentally... happen. But she didn't want it to stop. She didn't want to lose this intimacy.

He kissed the crown of her head. "Shh," he whispered, and stroked her back. "It's okay. Do you want to just stay like this? It's all right..."

"Yeah," she somehow managed to say. She swallowed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, babe. I love this. I love being this close to you. I just—I don't ever want to make you upset."

She smiled, even though he couldn't see her, even though she was still shaking. She would never have this moment, this experience, with anyone else. Maybe someday it wouldn't be unusual or leave her feeling so defenseless, maybe someday it would be _normal_ for her to fall asleep naked in his arms, but she could never imagine this experience being less than this, that it wouldn't fill her with wonder.

And he didn't want to hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her.

"I love you," she whispered. "Always have, always will."

"I love you so much, Nan. Forever."

It took a long time, for his every shift to not startle her and leave her suddenly anxious again. It took a long time for her to relax, and that saddened her. She wanted this to be natural and easy, but it wasn't, not yet. They had to take things so slowly, when she could sense that he was probably impatient with her. That all her stalling felt like reluctance and a kind way to tell him she wasn't truly interested.

Her last thought before she fell asleep was that it had taken a long time for her to trust him. Now she trusted him with her whole heart. She just needed to learn how to trust him with the rest of her, too.

\--

Ned couldn't wait to see his girlfriend again. It took all his self-control to focus during his afternoon lab; he wanted to skip just so he could see her again, but she wouldn't be pleased if he did that. He thought she'd get over it pretty fast, but still. Whenever he wasn't around her, he was always afraid that she would have a casual conversation with Dean Jarvis or some concerned-looking freshman, and they would be on a stakeout that night instead of sharing his bed.

He still couldn't quite believe it, and he caught himself smiling when he remembered it. His girlfriend sleeping naked in his arms. The feel of her silky skin against his palms, the feel of her arching against him, the warmth of her breath against his chest. It had been incredible. He knew that she had been a little nervous, though, and he hoped that she wouldn't be reluctant to share his bed tonight. If she didn't want to, he would understand, but... oh, _Nancy._

When he saw her, Ned grinned; he couldn't help it. She was in the common room at the Omega house, wearing the same floral-sprigged tank top and jeans she had worn when she met him for lunch, and her answering grin was just as wide.

She had been shy that morning. She had been careful to cover herself before she had moved out of his bed, and it had taken her a minute or two to meet his eyes, but she was okay. Once their teeth had been brushed, she had responded to the brush of his hand against hers, the brush of his lips against hers, the way she always had. Maybe she had found it easier, when they were clothed. He didn't know.

It had been incredibly, staggeringly erotic to be naked with her, and not just for a few minutes. Every time he had come anywhere near consciousness, he had been immediately aware of her, of how exposed they were to each other. About an hour before his alarm had gone off, he had blinked awake and felt an almost irresistible impulse to slide his hand between her legs, to cup the join of her thighs and wake her in a way he hoped would be incredibly pleasurable to her. The last time they had been able to share a bed, she had been moaning his name while he fingered her.

He couldn't think about that for more than a few seconds, and even that was dangerous. He didn't want to have to find some creative way to cover his obvious hard-on while he was leaving class. Hearing her and feeling her respond to him, even though he hadn't been able to see her, had been so arousing.

If she let him do that while she was naked, he wondered if she might be willing to go further...

He hoped his thoughts weren't written on his face as she sprang up from the couch and crossed over to him, greeting him with a hug. "Hi handsome," she murmured.

"Hey gorgeous," he replied, his arms around her too. "Did you stay out of trouble today?"

"Mostly."

"That's my girl," he said with a chuckle. God, everything about her, the light in her eyes, the warmth of her body as she pressed herself against him, the smell of her shampoo... he was completely, entirely infatuated with her. He loved her, loved her completely, but that feeling of awe when she was around had never faded.

"Brooke and Mindy are helping out at a bake sale at the cinema tonight," she said. "And I know chocolate and old movies are two of your favorite things."

"Two of them, but you missed the most important one," he told her, giving her a squeeze, and she grinned. "I'd love to, but I have a lot of homework to do. You can go. I'm sure it'll be fun."

Her grin faded. "Not without you," she said. "It won't be as much fun without you there. I hate that."

"Me too."

She sighed, then looked up into his eyes. "Well, I don't want to be distracting you if you have work to do. Maybe after dinner I can just go hang out with them for a little while."

He nodded. "As long as you promise me," he said, then moved to murmur his next words directly into her ear, "that you'll be in my arms tonight, beautiful."

She shivered, but she nodded when he pulled back to look into her eyes. She wasn't teasing or playful about it. Her gaze was serious and steady. "I will. I promise."

He smiled at her, then kissed the tip of her nose. "Nan, it's okay," he murmured, then realized he was soothing her the same way he had the night before, when she had seemed anxious and a little upset. "I just miss you when we're apart, and even if that's all we do, that's okay with me."

She nodded again. When he released her, her cheeks were still a little flushed, and she looked self-conscious.

The other guys in the Omega house knew that Ned wouldn't tolerate anyone making his girlfriend feel uncomfortable, and when the conversation naturally moved to dinner without anyone's comment, Nancy seemed to relax again, her fingers brushing against his to hold his hand. Ned knew it shouldn't matter so much, that he really did need to get his work done, but knowing she would be close to him and not being able to spend time with her was frustrating. He didn't even want to be the sole focus of her attention. He just wanted to be near her. He loved spending time with her.

A long time ago, feeling like she didn't share that sentiment had made him incredibly sad. He had meant it, when he had told her that he'd be happy just sharing his bed with her. He hated the idea that it might ever make her uncomfortable, and thinking that she might not tell him even if that were true.

After dinner he kissed his girlfriend goodbye, and told her again that he didn't mind her hanging out with the Theta girls. When he reached his room, though, Ned looked around. It wasn't a total mess—he had known she was coming, so he had tidied up some—but it also wasn't what he imagined when he thought _romantic_. Leaving the box of condoms he had bought just in case out on his nightstand would probably be too direct, and might upset her. He had lube, too, but he wasn't sure how close he and Nancy were to that step.

Instead, he headed to the padlocked storage locker out back, and found an unopened box of tea lights. The guys used them sometimes when they were setting up for different events; these would probably light up jack-o-lanterns for Halloween and the common room during Valentine's week. No one would mind if he borrowed them for the night.

Then he started trying to figure out where to put them, feeling faintly ridiculous as he tilted his head. He didn't want his room to look like an 80s hair-band music video set.

It took a long time for him to be able to concentrate on his homework, and he had to force himself not to rush through it. He was just making a few last notes on his reading for history when he heard a light tap at his door.

"Ned?"

"Come in," he replied, recognizing her voice.

Nancy opened his door slowly. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes were bright, as though she had just been laughing. When their gazes met, Ned felt the same spark he always had: of recognition, of desire, of wonder, or all three.

"Still working?"

"Just finishing up." He beckoned her closer, and she came over to him, toeing out of her shoes as she did. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah. I missed you, though."

"Missed you too, babe."

She chuckled and sat down beside him. "I miss you all the time, when we're apart," she murmured. "I don't like to tell Bess and George about it—if I started talking about it, I don't think I'd ever shut up. But I do. I love being around you."

He closed his history book. "I feel the same way," he said with a smile. "I wish we could be together all the time."

She nodded and patted his thigh. His smile broadened when he saw her blush; she let her hand drop, and looked away.

"Candles?"

It was his turn to feel self-conscious. "If... I thought it might be romantic."

"I think it will be. That's so sweet of you." She glanced over at him again. "Let me just... get ready for bed?"

While she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth and preparing for bed, Ned put all his schoolbooks away and lit the candles. It was too early to go to sleep, so he thought about suggesting they watch a movie. That seemed safe enough. If she was interested in _not_ watching the movie, even better.

"Ned? Do you mind if I borrow one of your shirts to sleep in?"

Ned knew other guys who bitched about their girlfriends asking to borrow their clothes. Ned loved it, though. He had loved the first time he had ever offered her his coat, when she had been shivering, and seeing her wear it. It was a sign of intimacy, and he loved any way he could be closer to her. Tossing a few extra shirts into the washing machine was no big deal.

"Not at all. Let me find you one..."

He wasn't surprised that she waited until he was out of the room to change. Being naked in bed with him was one thing; letting him see her that way in good lighting was something entirely different. He brushed his teeth and washed his face, and the guys he saw walking there and back who raised their hands or voices in greeting knew better than to keep him too long. Not while his girlfriend was visiting.

Her long, undoubtedly bare legs were hidden under his comforter, but her reddish-gold hair was loose and brushing the shoulders of his Bulls t-shirt. She was sitting up in bed, the candlelight golden against her skin, and Ned swallowed hard when he saw her.

"You look gorgeous, Nan."

The change that came over her was always the same: her eyes widened a little, and then she ducked her head, even though he saw her surprised smile become a grin. "So do you," she murmured. "Thanks for the shirt."

"Looks a lot better on you than it does on me," he told her, just to see her smile again. "So I thought maybe we could watch a movie, if you want?"

"That sounds good. If you really are done with your work."

He nodded. "I am. You have all my attention now, Nan."

He wasn't imagining the deepening blush in her cheeks. "And you have mine," she murmured.

They picked out a movie, once Ned suggested that maybe they should just rewatch something; he didn't want to pick out something _too_ interesting, something that would keep them from doing anything else. Once it had started, Ned slid under the covers and turned on the bedside lamp. The candles were flickering. To him, it looked very romantic, even the fact that she was wearing his t-shirt instead of some sexy lingerie. If anyone else saw them right now, they would think the two of them were doing more than just sharing a bed.

And they were, but what it was... it was hard for Ned to put it into words. They were learning each other. He hoped she was becoming more comfortable with him, with being intimate with him. He wanted her to enjoy it just as much as he did.

The opening credits were barely over when he slid his arm around her, and she rested her head against his shoulder. He didn't quite know how to say it, but when he moved so he could look into her face, she was looking at him too. Neither one of them was paying any attention at all to the movie.

He kissed her temple and her cheekbone, then brushed his lips against hers, and she released a quiet sigh. Their next kiss was long and intense; when she shivered he nearly groaned. She was so sweet, so perfect.

When they parted, Nancy searched Ned's eyes. She was still afraid to say it. She still didn't know how, or what his reaction might be. She wanted to sleep beside him again; the night before... well, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about it today. He had slept beside her and both of them had been naked, and he hadn't tried anything. He had clearly wanted to, but he hadn't. She didn't know how to tell him that she wanted more, but she was afraid; she didn't know what he would do if she changed her mind.

He cupped her cheek and slowly leaned down again, and her lips were parted when he kissed her. When he imagined taking things further, sliding his hands under the shirt she wore and caressing her bare skin, he couldn't help it; he responded immediately. He didn't want to scare her, but he had been aroused the night before too, and she hadn't startled away from him.

Nancy was trembling when Ned laid her down, when his hand slid under the hem of the shirt he had loaned her and brushed against her bare skin. The movie's soundtrack was hard to hear through the pounding of her heart. She ran her fingers through Ned's hair, sighing when he cupped her breast through her bra. She wanted him to keep going. His tongue stroked against hers and she shivered harder.

Ned stroked his hand over her outer thigh, then beneath the band of her panties, and she moaned softly. He wanted to see her shaking with pleasure as he fingered her again. "Can I take your clothes off?" he murmured, sliding his hand down to cup the join of her thighs. "Please, sweetheart?"

"Yes," she whimpered. "Oh, Ned..."

He moved her on top of him, and Nancy could feel how flushed she was. Her lower belly was pressed against him, and she could feel that he was hard again, like he had been before, when they had been like this. She didn't want to hurt him, so she adjusted her weight and brushed her lips against his. He tugged the hem of his shirt up and she realized why he had moved her; it was so he could take her clothes off. As soon as the shirt was gathered above her breasts, she pushed herself up and let him tug it over her head. She felt nervous, being on top of him, especially being so exposed and knowing he could see her...

She looked anxious and sweet and so incredibly sexy, and right after he had slid his shirt off her, he cupped her cheek and gazed into her eyes. "You're so beautiful, Nan," he told her again. "So completely beautiful. I love you so much."

"I love you too," she whispered. All of her ached, with need, desire, love, so much love that she didn't have the words for it. She had no idea how to tell him how much he meant to her. "I love you so much, Ned..."

He drew her back down to him, and they were in the middle of another long, deep kiss when he unfastened her bra. She shuddered again, squirming her hips slightly against his in the process, and Ned stifled a groan. God, she was so unbelievably sexy. She had no idea what she was doing to him. He rested his palm against her back until she moved so he could draw her bra down her shoulders and arms, baring her chest to him.

It was the strangest sensation. When Nancy looked at him, when his gaze flicked down to her bare chest and then up again to meet her eyes, when she felt that awareness and tenderness between her thighs, she didn't think, didn't decide; she just wanted _more_. More of him, more of his touch, more of the incredible pleasure that swept over her when he touched her in those sensitive places. She moved down again, her lips parting as she kissed him, and then he cupped her ass and she shuddered.

When Ned looked into her eyes, he knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted her, all of her, the joy of being close to her. He slipped her panties down and she released a quiet groan as she moved to let him take them off, and he paused as he did. She was naked, flushed, her legs pressed together and her teeth sunk into her lip. He had never seen anyone look so completely, unconsciously sexy as she did to him.

"Okay?"

She nodded, her blue-eyed gaze on him. He took a breath before he slid his own underwear down. The television's blue light played over them, but neither of them paid it any attention. He considered reaching for the remote and turning it off entirely, but it was infinitely more important to sink to the mattress again, to run his fingertips against her soft, smooth skin.

She hated that she couldn't stop shaking again. But the movie was still playing, and if she wanted to slow down, maybe she could just say that they could watch it. The faint noise of it was a good alibi. When he lowered himself to her, drawing the covers up so she wouldn't be cold and then resting his palm against her bare belly, she could only gaze into his eyes. She could only will him to keep going.

"I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," she whispered. She could hear all that was unspoken, all that she'd heard before, although never yet from him: _If you love me then there's no reason not to do this; if you love me, this is how you can show me._ But he wasn't saying that. He had never pressured her that way.

Ned leaned down and kissed her, careful to keep from pressing her down or making her upset, and slid his hand up to cup her breast as his tongue slid against hers. Her nipples were firm, and he rubbed his thumb against one, forcing himself to keep this slow and easy. The last thing he wanted to do was make her more anxious than he could tell she already was. She kept her legs tight together, but he could feel her heart pounding beneath her skin. He was glad.

When he rubbed against her nipple, Nancy knew it was over. There could be no more excuses, no reason to stop, not if he felt the same way she did. She didn't know how she would bring up the condoms still in her bag, but she promised herself that she would find a way, if she thought they needed them. Opening her legs to him felt like a concession, but she wanted him to touch her there again, even if that was all they did tonight. She was just finding it hard to believe that he would be satisfied with stopping there, or that she would.

As soon as her legs parted, Ned had to resist the urge to immediately touch her there. There was so much else they could do; if they had learned nothing else, the summer had taught them that. He cupped her breast and she stroked his bare back, and when he broke their kiss, his lips brushing her cheek as he fondled her breasts, he felt like he was burning up. It was hard to think straight. It was hard to feel anything beyond this insistent need to be close to her.

His stroking and caressing against her breasts, his thumbs glancing against her nipples, provoked a sudden throb of need low between her legs. It had happened before, it had happened the night he had slid his hand into her panties for the first time and answered the ache with his fingers, but they had never been naked like this. And he was naked too...

Ned groaned quietly when Nancy's palm cupped his hip. Her hand was too close to his erection for him to be able to relax, but he absolutely had no intention of asking her to stop. Instead he shifted onto his side, gazing into her eyes as he slid his palm down to cup her hip too. Her knees were slightly bent, but when he touched her there, she drew her heels toward her, then blushed a little more. So she knew what she was doing, at least on some level. So he wasn't forcing her into it.

She kept stroking his hip as he cupped her between her legs, and he liked that. He liked feeling that they were doing this together, that she wasn't just passive and accepting, not completely. But when he touched her there, when his fingertip stroked up the slit of her sex...

And then she was clinging to him and he was kissing her, his fingers probing and finding that sensitive place inside her, finding that hollow between her legs, and she cried out against their kiss. Her hips bucked and he soothed her with gentle strokes, and she could feel her cheeks burning as he slid his finger deep inside her.

She wasn't supposed to want this, wasn't supposed to enjoy it, not yet, not yet...

That was what she had believed. But this wasn't bad; she couldn't believe it was bad. It felt good. It really did feel like he was showing her love, and she craved it. She could never have her fill of it.

Ned found her slippery and warm; his fingertip followed the curve of her and he shivered. It really was like she was made for him. He wanted to know what it would be like, to feel her from the inside. To truly make love to her, beyond this pantomime, beyond this teasing. She tensed and relaxed under him in time with his strokes, her hips angling. It would be so easy...

He broke the kiss and nuzzled against her neck, and Nancy was panting, gasping for breath. When his fingertip curved against her inner flesh she choked, her hips jolting. He kept it there, gently tapping and stroking her there, and she arched—

Then he nuzzled against her breast, and she almost had no time to realize what he was doing before he drew her nipple between his lips and suckled, his finger still stroking in and out of her as he fondled that sensitive button of flesh between her legs with his thumb.

A bolt of white-hot arousal shot down her spine, leaving her whimpering as she moved with his touch. "Oh my God, oh my _God_ ," she cried out, her voice almost a whine of pleasure. " _Ned_..."

"Shh," he whispered, and kissed her other breast. "Good?"

"Yes," she sobbed. "Oh my _God_..."

"Tell me," he whispered.

"So good so _good oh my God ooohhhhhhhh Ned..._ "

"I love when you say my name, when we're like this," he murmured. "When I can hear how turned on you are. I love you, baby, and I want you so much..."

"I love you," she sobbed, shuddering against his touch, her heart racing. "I want you too..."

"You do?"

"Yes," she whimpered, blushing. When he moved to look into her eyes, she saw desire there, and she felt her inner flesh clench around his finger, just a little. Inside her, where he would be.

"Do you want to try?"

"Okay," she whispered, blushing, wondering if he had found the condoms in her bag. But when he moved, it was to pull out the drawer in the bedside table. He pulled out a box similar to the one she had bought, and a small bottle, and she glanced from that to his face, suddenly anxious again. He was so ready, and he didn't seem to be as nervous as she was.

But she wouldn't be inside his body. He would be in control. He wouldn't need to be nervous.

He moved, sliding his fingers out of her, and she shivered, drawing her legs back together. She tried to keep her breathing under control, tried to stay calm, but it felt so terribly real when she watched him tear open the foil on a condom. She had never seen it before, and she was both glad and troubled that he seemed so comfortable with it.

She was so afraid that this meant they couldn't go back, now. A part of her didn't want to go back. A part of her wanted to just let go of her nervousness and anxiety and let him show her.

It was so strange. Usually she loved new experiences, finding out things she hadn't known before. But all those times she'd had some measure of control. Right now she felt like she had none.

When Ned looked at her face, he couldn't do it. "It's okay," he murmured. "Nan, it's all right. We can just try a little at first, and if you don't like it we can stop. Okay?"

She took a breath. "Okay," she whispered.

"What we were just doing. It felt good."

She nodded. "I'm afraid," she whispered, her brows knitting as she glanced up into his eyes. Afraid of his reaction.

"It's gonna be okay, Nan. I promise. We don't have to do this right now; we don't have to do this tonight, not if you don't want to. Here," he murmured, leaving the condom on the bedside table and stretching out at her side again, resting his palm on her bare belly. "Here. Shh."

She was slow to respond to him, slow to relax, to part her legs again. He nuzzled against her cheek, brushing soft kisses against her lips, and then somehow they were kissing eagerly. He slid his knee between her legs and she let him part them fully, and she shuddered when he lowered himself to her. There was nothing between them, not the condom, not air. That aroused part of him was hard and warm against her belly and his tongue was in her mouth and she just had to _not think, not think,_ and all he could think about, all he knew, was her and it was _so close._

He was still kissing her when she heard him fumble for something on the bedside table, and she couldn't help tensing again. "Shh," he whispered when they broke the kiss, both of them panting a little. "Shh, relax, Nan..."

It wasn't that she didn't feel ready, but he knew she was untouched, that lube would only help, if she wanted to take things further. He squeezed some onto his fingers, letting it warm a little against his skin before he moved his hand between her legs again.

A shudder traveled up her spine when he rubbed newly-slick fingers against the tender folds between her legs, where he had been stroking his finger in and out of her before. Then his fingers glanced over that sensitive nub and she arched, releasing a soft cry.

"Just a little. Okay?"

"Yes," she whimpered.

He used the bottle again and rubbed something slippery wet against her, even though between her legs already felt very slick, and fondled her before he reached for the condom again. She could hear him fitting it over himself, even though she couldn't see it, and then Ned gave her another long, lingering kiss. His thumb rubbed against that nub between her legs and she arched again, releasing a desperate moan. She didn't know what she wanted, just that she didn't want him to stop.

Then he stroked his finger in and out of her a few more times, and then he lowered his hips, and he was parting her between her legs and she was fighting it. She was fighting that impulse to scramble away from him, to beg him to stop, the shame and embarrassment she was feeling.

"Shh," he whispered, and she met his eyes. "Just a little."

"Just a little," she repeated, her voice just louder than a breath. She didn't see any sign of self-consciousness in him, not the way she felt. "I love you."

"I love you too, Nan. You're everything to me. I just want this to be good for you..."

She drew in a breath as he positioned himself, as she felt the head of his cock brush against her, low between her legs. This was why she had bought that box of condoms, so this would be possible, and she gazed up into his handsome face, focusing on him, trying to relax. But every touch, every gentle contact between them made her flinch.

Then he moved a little inside her and groaned softly, and the simmering tension of her arousal seemed to entirely fade. It didn't feel the way his finger had inside her. He was thick and she felt too tight around him, and her heart sank. She waited for him to shake his head, and she flushed, imagining that he would be disappointed. That they didn't fit the way he wanted. She wondered, miserably, why this wasn't easy for her, why it wasn't the way she had thought it would be.

Ned opened his eyes, and his heart sank. She had retreated; she wasn't moving to meet him or responding to what he was doing. She still looked anxious, but that expression of intense pleasure and desire was no longer on her face. He had done something wrong. Somehow, he had messed this up.

"Baby, what's wrong," he whispered, searching her eyes. He didn't dare move any deeper, not until she seemed responsive and ready.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and her breath trembled when she drew it in. "I—I'm sorry..."

He moved onto his side again, and she drew her legs back together, rolling toward him. She buried her face against his chest and shook, and he could feel that her face was wet against his skin as he stroked her back. She had been ready; he would have sworn that she was ready, that nothing was wrong, and it broke his heart to see her so upset.

"Baby, it's okay," he murmured. "Shh. It's okay. I'm sorry you freaked out."

"It's..." She sniffled, moving back to look up into his face, and her blue eyes were startling-bright from her tears. "I'm sorry I can't do it right..."

He shook his head, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "You didn't do anything wrong," he told her.

She sniffled again, shaking her head. "I thought we would—fit," she said, her voice rising, becoming thin in her anxiety. "But it hurt..."

She buried her face again and wouldn't look at him, and he stroked her back again, then moved his other arm around her and held her tight. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Shh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to."

"It's supposed to be easy, isn't it," she murmured. "Is something wrong with me?"

She sounded so sad that Ned's heart broke for her. "No, baby, no. Nothing's wrong with you. I don't think it's easy for anyone the first time. It's not like the movies. It's weird and I'm sure it's uncomfortable for you, but it's not easy when we're just practicing like this."

"Practicing." She sniffled again, and he moved to pull a tissue out of the box at his bedside, to give to her.

"Yeah. We're practicing. And it won't be great the first few times, I'm sure." He gave her a small smile when she glanced up into his face. "But the last thing in the world I want is to make you upset."

"I thought it was me." She nestled against him again, completely naked; at least she seemed more comfortable with that, now. "I thought it was going to be romantic and perfect and... it would just feel _good_..."

"We'll get there," he told her, and stroked her hair from her temple. "It'll take a while, but we will. I love you."

"I love you," she whispered.

"Look, I'm going to get cleaned up... do you want to finish the rest of the movie? Or we can start it over."

"We can finish it," she said, and searched his face. "I really do love you, so much. Are you mad at me?"

He shook his head. "No, baby. I'm not. I guess I'm just frustrated with myself. I wanted this to be good for you, too. I feel like I'm the one who did something wrong. And I hate that."

She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. "It's practice," she murmured. "So we'll just figure it out."

\--

_What if I'm not... what if I'm never ready? What if I can't..._

The thought was paralyzing to her, but she let herself consider it.

Nancy was on the roof of the athletic complex, her arms wrapped around her bent legs and her chin resting on her knee. The weather was perfect, warm but not hot, with a breeze to keep the sun at bay. Between classes, a few Emerson students walked with their friends or strode purposefully toward the student lounge or the food court. They always seemed to know what they were doing, in life and with each other. Attending classes meant completing classes, which meant a degree, a career. Entwined fingers and dates meant intimacy. She couldn't help envying them a little.

For other people, sex had always been easy, natural. Or at least that's what she thought. Maybe at first it really was strange or uncomfortable for everyone.

_Do I want to have sex with Ned?_

_Yes._ Almost all of her did. Ninety-nine percent of her did. She loved him and he loved her, and the idea of it was intoxicating...

_But we can love each other without it meaning sex._

She thought that might be true, but she also knew that Ned wanted to have sex. He had made that clear now. Maybe it was the only way to show him that she loved him in a way she had never loved anyone else.

She sighed, gazing out over campus without seeing it. He wanted it and she did too, so her fear that she had been reading too much into his behavior was gone, only to be replaced by a new one. He was being gentle and sweet and she was... terrified. It made her feel juvenile and unsophisticated.

As soon as she had been told that sex was what people in love, generally married people, did, she had accepted it. She was in love. People in love with each other had sex. It hadn't seemed like something that needed practice, that everyone wasn't good at. It hadn't seemed—like this. It was supposed to be natural and wonderful...

And now she really _did_ sound juvenile and unsophisticated, she considered, sighing again. Nancy was gifted and could master anything she tried fairly quickly, but that didn't mean she didn't practice. Any skill was rusty when it wasn't used. And in this, she was entirely out of her element. It wasn't _like_ anything else. It wasn't a dance or a game.

It was complete surrender. It was vulnerability. And it was opening herself up to pain, but she had to believe that there would be joy too. She had felt joy when he had touched and stroked and loved her, before it had become the undeniable weight of him and her anxiety to please him, and then her immediate, mortified belief that something was inherently wrong with her when it _didn't_ feel good.

It didn't have to be now. Surely there were... things, they could do, to make her less... tight. If that was a problem.

Nancy's cheeks were flushed, but no one could see her and ask her what she was thinking about. She would have found it almost impossible to talk about, anyway. Even with Ned. Almost especially with Ned.

It would be easier after the first time. Almost anything was.

That thought cheered her some. Having her ears pierced had hurt, and now putting earrings in didn't hurt her—although this was admittedly a little different. The anticipation of the pain had been bad. The anticipation of the pain _now_ , was bad too.

People had sex all the time. She was probably just letting her nervousness get to her.

Ned had practice that afternoon, and then he wanted to take her out to dinner, just the two of them. For their date she put on a navy and white patterned dress and wedge sandals, a locket necklace he had given her, and a spritz of his favorite perfume. He was freshly showered and devastatingly handsome in his button-down and pressed khakis, and when he kissed the point of her jaw and told her she looked beautiful, Nancy melted a little.

As much as she hated to admit it, it was a relief to go somewhere public with him for dinner, to talk about his classes and practice, his next school break and the next time she might be able to visit, anything and everything _except_ what might happen once they were back in his room, alone together. His suggestion that they watch a movie at the theater was welcome, too; they went to one with big, comfortable seats and armrests they could put up and out of the way, and she relaxed against him, her head resting on his shoulder as they watched the movie. The film was funny and smart, and had them both laughing several times.

He was her friend, her best friend, and she just happened to be in love with him. She never wanted to leave him. And she was undeniably, irresistibly attracted to him, in a way she had never felt with anyone else. He was everything she wanted.

Although it was late, the Omega house was still lit and many of the members awake when Nancy and Ned came up the front walk, their hands joined. The moon was full and shining overhead. It was a perfect night, an infinite night, and she never wanted the dawn to come and break the spell.

As soon as they walked in, Paul stood up; he seemed to have been waiting for Ned. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" he asked, casting a glance at Nancy but directing his question at Ned. "It's... personal."

Ned nodded. "I'll be right up," he told Nancy.

She nodded too, flashed a smile at Paul, and exchanged greetings with Andy, Howie, and Maury before heading upstairs. She washed off her makeup and took off her jewelry, and put on the shirt Ned had let her borrow before. She was just sliding under the covers when she heard the door open, and she scrambled into the bed, then smiled as she saw Ned.

"Everything okay?"

He nodded, toeing out of his shoes. "Yeah, he just had a... thing, with another guy on the team. We'll handle it at the next practice." He shrugged. "He just didn't want you to think less of him, I guess."

Nancy shook her head, crossing her arms. "People come to me for help all the time. He has to know that..."

Ned gave her a small smile. "Yeah, and it takes... swallowing some pride, to admit you can't do it all. Even when the person you're asking for help is a brilliant, beautiful detective whose great joy in life is helping people."

She couldn't help grinning. Then her grin became a smile, and she tilted her head as she watched him take off his clothes. "Do you have to swallow your pride? With me?"

"Sometimes," he admitted. "And I'm not really used to that, but it's good. A good leader needs to know how to do that. To appreciate other people's strengths and step back when the situation calls for that."

She swallowed. "Hmm."

He glanced over at her. "Which you already do," he told her. "Most of the time, anyway. I know a few times you've decided it would be too slow to call for backup..."

"Yeah." Nancy ducked her head, then brought it back up to look at him again. "But part of that is acknowledging a weakness... and, last night..."

A pained look crossed his face, and Nancy's heart sank. "I know," he murmured. "And I'm so sorry, Nan..."

She shook her head, sitting forward. When he came over to her she reached for his hands and held them. "It was practice," she murmured. "And I... I'm not used to needing this much practice. I'm sorry."

He raised his hand and stroked his fingers down her cheek. "The last thing in the world I want is to make you upset," he murmured. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. More than I've ever loved anyone. And I thought that—was all it would take."

She glanced down, shivering a little as his fingers brushed up the line of her jaw. "Not always," he murmured. "Here..."

He didn't even bother with the excuse of the television, and Nancy didn't mind. The candles were still in his room, but neither of them thought to light them. He turned on his bedside lamp and crawled into bed in his underwear, his dark eyes so intense as their gazes locked.

And he loved her, slowly, sweetly, fondling all those sensitive places he had found, stroking her until she was relaxed for him. When he worked two fingers between her legs, stroking against that slick button with his thumb, she sobbed his name, her hips gently moving in time with his strokes. She cupped his hip, and when he moved her open palm brushed against his erection, and he groaned.

It seemed fair. What he was doing to her felt so good, although she found it insanely hard to concentrate on anything beyond it, but Ned shivered with what she hoped was pleasure when she rubbed the heel of her hand against the underside of his stiff cock. He lowered his head and kissed her, his tongue sliding into her mouth, as they fondled each other.

Then the pleasure was too much, and she broke the kiss, crying out, her spine arching. Her hand fell away from him as she gave herself over to it, and although she could hear and feel how wet she was, he didn't seem to be upset about it, so she decided not to be either. He moved down, pinning her under his weight, and she could feel that stiff, hot part of him against her thigh as he kept stroking his fingers in and out of her. She sobbed, begging him, but she didn't know what she was begging him to do, or not do. She just felt that she was getting close, and she didn't want to lose it.

Then her hips jolted, her shoulders tensing, and between her legs was suddenly so incredibly sensitive that she could do nothing but cry out, and it was—oh, oh _fuck_ , it was everything, it felt so _fucking good_ , and she babbled that at him, her voice catching in sobs. He nuzzled against her and her fingers were twined in his hair and she couldn't breathe, oh God, it was _so good..._

She was panting when he slowed his strokes and stopped, his fingers still inside her and his thumb against that sensitive nub, and inside her was still pulsing gently, and she had been burning up but now she was shivering. When his lips brushed against hers she kissed him back hard, her legs still sprawled open, her cheeks flushed. She couldn't help flinching when he slid his fingers out of her and sighed, but his sigh didn't sound frustrated or upset.

Her lashes fluttered up. He glanced from her face to the box of condoms still on his bedside table, then back to her. He didn't say anything; he wasn't pressuring her. But if she wanted...

She took a breath and nodded. "Okay," she whispered.

"Okay," he murmured in reply.

When he moved onto his knees, Nancy swept her sweat-damp hair from her temples and forehead and shivered again. She felt like a mess. She also felt thoroughly, completely sated and so content she could purr, from what he had just done with her. They had done something similar a few times before, but it had never felt quite this intense.

What they had just done had made her feel good, and maybe what he was about to do with her... would feel good for him.

That made her shiver a little with anticipation, but it also made her feel a little better. If she thought of it that way, it would be easier. He had done something so incredibly, intensely pleasurable to her. Now she would return the favor. Maybe.

She still didn't understand how Ned was able to touch her in ways that made her feel like she was coming out of her skin with ecstasy. He made it seem so natural, like anyone would know. And that just served to make her feel even less experienced or confident. She had to listen to his directions to know how to touch him...

But, she reflected, he watched her and listened to her too. She didn't think it was as simple as "do this for five seconds, do this other thing for ten seconds."

Ten seconds. Lovemaking in movies seemed to take a long time. Hours, she was pretty sure. Lovemaking measured in seconds was apparently bad. But if it was anything like what had happened the night before... well, seconds would be easier. At least to start.

She shivered again and Ned pulled back the covers, tilting his head. She slid between the sheets and rested her head on her usual pillow, gazing up into his face, unable to speak. The tension and then the release had been so incredible that she was still trembling a little from it, and she just wanted to cuddle up with him and go to sleep.

But that wouldn't be fair to him. And she wanted him to feel as good as she did.

He put on the condom and then moved down, one of his knees between her legs, and she slid her arms around him as he laid down with her. Her heart was still racing, but it was familiar when he nuzzled against her, his lips brushing her skin. His palm stroked against her hip. He was everywhere; she was pinned captive under him, and she closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down.

When he moved down her body, nuzzling against her breasts before he kissed and then suckled each of her nipples, she arched under him, panting. The thought of him being inside her didn't arouse her, and yet it did. She wanted the closeness. She was just afraid of the pain that might come too.

He kept fondling and teasing her nipples until she found herself, to her own faint surprise, opening her legs, parting them to him, her knees up and cradling his sides. Ned made a quiet sound that hummed against her skin, then stroked her hips, kissing his way back up, and she shivered when his lips brushed her neck. She shivered even harder when she realized he was moving into position over her. That it would be soon.

"Look at me," he whispered, and she opened her eyes to see his face so close to hers, the dark eyes and features she loved so much. She was shaking a little as she ran her fingers through his dark hair.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he murmured, searching her eyes. "Always have, always will."

When she felt him begin to move inside her, she wanted to close her eyes; she wanted to push away from him. She managed to keep her eyes open, and when he paused she took a deep breath, forcing herself to relax instead of keeping herself tensed up. It was hard, so hard. She was already anticipating how tight he would feel...

"You can," she whispered, and then he moved and her lips parted. Oh, his fingers had felt so different, but this... oh God. If this made him feel good...

"Nancy," he whispered.

"Yes," she whispered, holding his gaze. "It's okay."

And then he was moving even more deeply inside her, and she arched, her mouth falling open, all of her centered on the pain of it—but the pain didn't last. It just flared and became a softer throb, and she almost slumped to the bed in relief.

"Okay?"

"Mmm," she moaned quietly, meeting his eyes again. "Does it feel good?"

He nodded hard a few times. "Are you all right?"

She didn't know how to answer. She just felt overwhelmed. "I don't know," she whispered. "Keep going."

He didn't wait for any further encouragement. He moved even deeper inside her and she arched again, letting out a breathless, silent cry. They were one, unmistakably, undeniably. He was one with her.

Then he moved back and inside her again, letting out his own low moan of pleasure. While the pain flared again, slightly, it wasn't as frightening as it had been before. She let herself focus on it, on the way it felt for him to be inside her, the warmth and hardness of him. He moved back out of her, then inside again, and she tipped her hips up slightly, and the shift in his angle made her tip her head back with a quiet sob.

"This?" he whispered, and she had just brought her chin back down when he brushed his thumb over her clit.

" _Oh!_ " she cried out, her hips jolting, and he propped himself up with one hand, using the other to fondle her clit, as he moved in her in steady strokes. She hadn't thought it would feel good. She hadn't imagined that it would feel like this. "Oh my God, yes, _yes_ ," she whimpered.

"You feel so good," he panted. "So sweet and tight, baby. Oh my God..."

She let him love her. She didn't know what to do, how to move or respond, so she just focused on the sensations of it. He kissed her cheek and she brushed her lips against him in return, her palm against his back.

Then he rose over her, driving himself deep inside her, and let out a harsh cry. Nancy blinked a pair of tears down her cheeks, gazing up at him. He held himself tensed for a moment, then hung his head, relaxing as he sank onto her. She recognized it in him. He'd felt something similar to the release she had before.

She closed her eyes and slid her arms around him, feeling his chest expand and contract against hers as he tried to catch his breath, feeling the dampness of his skin, the weight of him. He was still inside her, and while her inner flesh did feel sore, she didn't mind. Not if it meant she could be holding him like this.

He was hers. Now he would always be hers.

She was already half asleep when he slid out of her and rolled onto his side, and she cuddled up against him, her eyes closed, lulled by the sound of his heart.

\--

Ned had taken her virginity.

He hadn't really doubted it. He hadn't believed, or wanted to believe, that any other man had slept with her—even though that probably would have made things easier for her tonight. When he had gently slid out from under her to dispose of the condom, the latex had been streaked with traces of her arousal and blood.

He had been expecting it, but he hadn't expected it to impact him the way it had.

He couldn't imagine doing what she had just done for him. He had slid inside an untouched part of her and stroked until he found release, and in the process, she had bled. It didn't seem fair, and he wasn't proud of it, but he couldn't help being proud of her.

To him, it had been perfect.

He wet a cloth and gently wiped between her thighs, and she stirred a little, her lashes fluttering up. "Mmm?"

"Shh. Go back to sleep," he murmured, putting the cloth down and moving back under the covers, and she moved easily into his arms. He closed his eyes, stroking her back with gentle brushes of his fingertips. She was naked and pressed against him, the firm yield of her breasts, her softening nipples, the curls between her thighs.

And she was his. His forever, his for the rest of their lives. He didn't doubt it or fear it. She had given him a gift that she had never given anyone else, and no other man would ever be the first to love her this way.

He wanted to be her only lover. He never wanted her to be like this with any other man, to share this tenderness or this intimacy.

He kissed her forehead and she murmured quietly, her hair warm against his shoulder. "Ned," she breathed, and she was still against him.

His fierce, beautiful girlfriend, who hardly ever needed any protection from anyone or anything, who hardly needed his help... he felt her pressed against him and wanted to protect her. He wanted to keep her safe, and yet he had hurt her.

He wouldn't hurt her again. He promised himself that.

He slept deeply, naked, his arm draped over his girlfriend. He didn't have to get up early for class, and he hadn't realized how much his body needed the rest. When he finally woke, his room was swept with sunlight and Nancy's blue eyes were open.

"Morning," he murmured, and smiled.

"Good morning," she whispered, and smiled too.

"Feeling okay?"

"Mmm-hmm." She searched his eyes. "A little sore, I think..."

Ned couldn't help cringing. "I'm sorry," he murmured, reaching up to cup her cheek. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

She shook her head. "I was just so scared," she murmured. "I think that made it worse. But I liked being with you." Her cheeks were already a little pink; then her blush deepened. "I liked making love."

A slow, happy grin crossed his face, and he leaned down to nuzzle against her neck. "I liked making love, too. I love you, Nan."

"I love you too."

If it had been up to him, they would have spent the rest of the day in bed together. But Omega Chi was helping Theta Pi with dance preparations, and Ned had a football game that afternoon; he was just glad it was at home. The Omega house would be full of alums who had come to watch the game, afterward; he already knew that. Those nights, Ned usually spent in an alcohol-blurred haze, playing games and laughing with the guys, falling asleep missing his girlfriend.

Instead, after the game, Nancy put on a party dress and Ned dressed up, and they headed over to the Theta house for the dance. The weather was nice, warm and dry, and guests had spilled out onto the back lawn with their red plastic cups, hips swaying to the beat from the oversized speakers. A few of them spotted Ned and gushed over his performance at the game, and he thanked them. It hadn't been much, and it was mostly due to his teammates' hard work...

"And you," Nancy told him, her thumb brushing his lips, her blue eyes steady on his. They were dancing together, another admirer's praise still ringing in his ears. "You're amazing out there. I'm always proud to be your girlfriend, but I was really proud of you today. You worked really hard."

Ned couldn't help it; he glowed with happiness at her praise. "Thanks, babe," he murmured, leaning down to brush his lips against hers. "That means so much to me."

They spent another hour at the party, and by the time they walked back into the Omega house, Ned was happily buzzing and Nancy was giggly, her eyes bright. He wanted to wait; he wanted to make sure that she wanted this too...

...and then his door was closed behind them and his hand was under her skirt, his fingers drifting up her thigh, his lips against hers.

He needed to wait. He needed to...

She wrapped her arms around him, kissing him back, and _should_ didn't mean anything. His thumb hooked in the elastic of her panties and she moaned quietly against their kiss.

If she had hesitated—but she didn't. She responded to him easily, caressing him, running her fingers through his hair, embracing him. He came back to something like reality when she was almost completely naked and he was halfway there; she was sprawled on top of his comforter, lips reddened and wet from their kisses, her pupils blown wide.

"Okay?"

She swallowed, and his heart was in his own throat when she nodded. "Yes," she murmured, reaching for him.

It was easier. It was easier now that he knew what to do to relax her, how to bring her to release and then tease her to arousal again, so she would be slick and ready. For him, it was the most glorious torture he could imagine, to see and feel her reach orgasm without his being inside her. He memorized her; he watched the way her skin flushed, how she bucked and strained against him, the desperation in her eyes whenever their gazes met. By degrees she lost her self-consciousness and seemed to be overwhelmed by pure pleasure, and when he finally stopped stroking her, she was panting, glowing, sprawled loose-limbed and still twitching faintly.

He moved his knees between her legs and she looked up at him, her lips still parted. "Yes," she whispered, her voice catching, when he glanced from her face to the box of condoms on his bedside table. "Yes..."

He used the lube that time, in case it might make things easier for her. He stroked her and fondled her and nuzzled against her until she brought her knees up, and then he sank inside her, losing himself in the pure bliss of the sensation. For the barest instant, he wished that they could do this without the barrier of the condom between them, but he didn't trust himself. He knew other guys who claimed they hadn't had any accidents when they had just pulled out, but having sex with Nancy was too intoxicating. To drive himself deep inside her and let himself come...

He saw a flicker cross her face, but then he felt her relax under him. "Okay?" he whispered.

She nodded. "Keep going," she murmured.

This time, as soon as he found his rhythm he began to stroke her clit, and her immediate reaction to him made him groan with pleasure. She loosely wrapped her legs around his waist, and he moved against her, his lashes fluttering down.

It wasn't everything, but oh, oh God, for that moment it was. He felt those same spasms inside her that he had before, with his fingers, and he was trembling with the force of holding himself back, but it was incredible. He moved down and the bedsprings creaked as he moved in and out of her, and she was arching, sobbing, tightening against him with every thrust to draw him closer to her.

He broke just before she did, spending himself with a groan and then slowly collapsing to her, and he felt her jerk against him and then begin to relax. The night before, she had seemed to fall asleep almost immediately. Tonight, he felt like _he_ was going to. He was both exhilarated and exhausted.

With a long, quiet sigh, Nancy loosed her grip on him and let her legs fall open. He ducked his head, brushing a kiss against her shoulder.

"Good?" he whispered, his breath against her skin, and she shivered.

"Mmm-hmm," she murmured, and though her lashes were low and she looked just as tired as he felt, she was smiling when their gazes met.

"Good," he murmured, relaxing into her arms again, trying and failing to remember why he would possibly want to do anything else.

\--

"Nancy."

As soon as she opened her eyes, Nancy cringed in embarrassment. "Oh my God," she whispered, her voice a little rusty. "I'm so sorry..."

Ned was smiling, though. "I just thought you might be uncomfortable, sleeping like that," he murmured. "Although I didn't mind you snuggling up to me..."

Nancy glanced around, running her fingers through her hair. The room was empty, except for the two of them. The fire was burning low, and Ned had tuned the television to ESPN. One of Edith Nickerson's meticulously decorated Christmas trees stood in the window, the lights twinkling through the sheer drapes to anyone who cared to glance inside. Four stockings hung from the mantel; the fourth, which had been new last year, had Nancy's name on it.

She had been surprised and delighted with how easily Ned's parents included her in all their holiday traditions: the trip—or two—out to see local light displays, the holiday movie marathon, visiting Ned's extended family. They had been so busy with all their plans that tonight had been one of the rare nights they could spend time together, and Nancy hadn't been able to bear asking Ned to leave his family, not after he had spent the semester up at Emerson working hard and missing his parents.

She just hadn't planned on falling asleep on his shoulder during the movie, in front of his parents. It was mortifying. And she really needed to be heading home. She was just so disappointed she had wasted some of the little time they could spend together over the break on sleep.

Nancy looked back over at her boyfriend, who was still smiling, ready to tell him that she had to go, but the words died on her lips. Her heart melted when she saw his familiar handsome face. Even though she had been in his presence for hours now, just something about looking into his eyes still took her breath away.

"Do you want to go upstairs?"

At that, her lips did finally part. "I can't," she murmured. "It's Christmas Eve."

"What? Is your dad expecting you back tonight?"

"I... I'm sure he is," she replied, raising her eyebrows slightly. "Plus, there is no way your parents would be happy to see me in your bed in the morning..."

He shrugged. "You look so tired that I think you'd probably fall asleep at the wheel on the way home," he countered. "So we can set an alarm, and in the morning I'll drive you home..."

"Which would mean my car would still be here," she pointed out.

"And we'd have another excuse to see each other," he replied with a grin, his dark eyes twinkling a little.

She couldn't help laughing quietly. "You're incorrigible."

"I'm just a guy who misses his girlfriend, terribly." He slid his arm around her waist and brushed his lips against her neck, and she shivered. "Come to bed with me, Nan. Please."

His words said one thing; the low, seductive tone he used said something a little different. "Ned," she whispered, trying to tell herself this was a bad idea, trying...

"Consider it an early Christmas present," he whispered, and his breath and his voice were warm against her skin, and she shivered again.

"Oh... dammit."

"I hope that's a yes." He gave her a little squeeze and stood up, offering her his hand.

The entire time, as Ned turned off the television and the tree lights and made sure the front door was locked, as he took her hand and guided her up to his room, she knew she should shake her head, make her whispered excuses, go back to her father's house... but she also couldn't stop herself. Even though the circumstances couldn't be more different, she was reminded of the night he had come home at midterms and she had had that terrible nightmare, and he had taken her to his bed here. She had been nervous, but she hadn't been able to say no then either. She had needed to feel his arms around her. She had needed to have him as close as she possibly could.

They took turns brushing their teeth, and Nancy listened the entire time for a creak in his parents' room, some sign that they were aware she hadn't left. They hadn't even pantomimed her leaving for their benefit—although, she supposed, it would look better if they didn't try to trick his parents.

It was likely, too likely, that they wouldn't be able to pull this off. That his parents would see her and be disappointed in both of them. And on _Christmas._

She walked into Ned's room and he already had a t-shirt pulled out of his dresser for her to wear, and she shook her head with a little sigh.

"Hmm?"

She came toward his bed. "We're playing with fire," she murmured.

"Always," he replied, and he had a little grin on his face when she glanced over at him. He was already stripped down to his boxers, and he waited until she had changed into his shirt and scrambled under the covers, hissing at the cold in the sheets, before he flipped off the lights and joined her.

"There's no way you want to sleep," she said, her teeth chattering as she cuddled against his warmth. "It's Christmas Eve. We have to stay awake for Santa."

"Well, Santa's general time of arrival is around 3 a.m.," he told her, his tone serious. "Based on previous experience. We can set an alarm if we want to make sure we don't miss it. Besides, do you think he'll be leaving your presents here?"

She chuckled, then sighed. Once she was a teenager, she had started sleeping a bit later on Christmas, so it wasn't that her father would expect her to be standing at the foot of his bed, loudly whispering his name in ill-restrained excitement, at four a.m. But he knew she was here, and if he happened to go to her room to check on her and found her gone...

"Mmm?"

She opened her mouth and closed it, then opened it again. "Nice guys don't settle down with bad girls," she whispered.

"Well, if we're talking girls on Santa's naughty list..."

"No," she whispered.

His arm was already around her; he brought his other hand up to cup her cheek. "Am I a nice guy?"

"One of the best," she confirmed.

"Are you calling yourself a bad girl?"

"How can you even ask that?" she asked, more bemused than anything. "I'm in my boyfriend's bed at his parents' house. A good girl would have insisted on going home."

He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "And I'm glad you didn't," he whispered. "Unless you don't want to be here with me right now."

"Of course I do." She sighed quietly. "I think that's the problem."

He touched his forehead to hers. "If I'm a nice guy," he pointed out, "despite all the terribly dirty things I've done to you, then it would be pretty hypocritical of me to call you a bad girl. And you're not. You're sweet and strong and funny and beautiful. And if we're talking about settling down..." He kissed her then, very softly, and her heart was beating faster when he pulled back, and she could still feel his breath against her skin. "Then I think you know, but I'll say it again. My heart belongs to you, Nan, now and forever. I'm yours and I always will be. I haven't settled down with a bad girl. I'd be beyond honored to spend the rest of my life with you."

She sniffled. "And I'd be so happy to spend the rest of my life with you."

He kissed her again. "Good," he whispered. "Maybe... maybe soon, we can... think about that. About making it official?"

His dark eyes were so sweet, so tentative and sincere. Her heart was in her throat, but she nodded. "I'd like that," she whispered.

When they kissed again, when he drew her close and his fingertips brushed against the bare skin just above the band of her panties, she shivered. She didn't want to push him away or protest; since the first night they had made love, she had craved this. She had wanted him. Whether that meant sex or just resting in his arms, she didn't care—but sex, that tangible manifestation of his love for her, was beyond intoxicating. She was addicted to it. From the moment he had suggested they share his bed, a part of her had been waiting for this.

He grinned before he moved under the covers, sliding the shirt she wore above her bare breasts and teasing and stroking her nipples, and she muffled her laughter and delighted moans into his pillow. To be _official_. To let other people see how much they loved each other... well, Bess and George would claim that anyone who had ever seen them together couldn't possibly have any doubt. But it wasn't the same.

She had always felt like he was the only man for her, the only one she would ever love. She never wanted to leave him. She never wanted to be without him. Just the briefest thought that the two of them might share a place, might not have to sneak around when they wanted to be together, that his parents would assume they would share a bed instead of discouraging it...

His thumbs hooked in the band of her panties and she angled her hips up, letting him slide them down. "Is this my early Christmas present?" she asked softly, and she couldn't help grinning.

"Mmm-hmm, beautiful," Ned murmured, folding her legs up and over his shoulders before he nuzzled the join of her thighs. Her heart was beating harder at the sensation. Oh God...

The first time he had ever done this, she had been uncomfortable and incredibly self-conscious, and then it had been funny, and then it had been... oh, unbelievably good. She had been shocked that he would find the idea at all appealing, but to her, oh, it was like bliss. She didn't feel the fullness, that sensation of becoming one, as she did when he was inside her, but it felt amazing. She had tentatively tried to return the favor a few times, but she was still anxious about taking too much of him in her mouth.

Besides, every time she had ever kissed or licked his cock, he had practically shuddered with pleasure—and she had always been willing to take him inside her, once he needed his release.

But he could—and he _did_ —bring her to orgasm like this, teasing her until her back was arched, the fingers of one hand buried in his hair and the other rapidly stroking her nipples as he caressed and suckled and flicked his tongue against sensitive skin. He had encouraged that, too. He had wanted her to show him what felt good to her, even though she always preferred it when Ned mimicked her actions. When she felt his hands on her instead of her own, when she was blind and senseless to everything beyond him.

He had learned exactly how to touch her, and when she climaxed, her head tipped back, panting harshly for breath as he stroked his fingers inside her and roughly teased her clit, she was in the grips of such intense pleasure that she could barely move or breathe. Her muscles strained, and she managed to turn her high, sobbing scream of encouragement and satisfaction into an almost soundless cry.

Then Ned pushed her legs wide apart, and she was still quivering from her orgasm when he touched the tip of his cock to her entrance. With a low, satisfied groan, he sheathed himself fully inside her, and she tensed against him before relaxing, closing her eyes as he filled her. Her clit and the sensitive flesh between her legs were still sensitive and throbbing slightly, and she relaxed her shoulders, her eyes still closed, waiting for him to start stroking in and out of her.

But he didn't. He grasped her around the waist and rolled onto his side, still inside her, so that her legs were fully open and draped around him. She opened her eyes, the peaked tips of her nipples brushing against his warm chest. "Mmm?"

He nodded, then tipped his head down and kissed her, his tongue sliding deep into her mouth. She blushed as she tasted her own arousal on his tongue; she blushed even more deeply when he slid his hand between the press of their bodies and found her clit, and she tensed her inner flesh against his cock, her hips squirming slightly. They had never done this before, but she did love being so close to him, being able to watch his face as they made love.

When he broke the kiss, they were both panting quietly. "Good?" he murmured.

"Mmm," she moaned softly, nodding as he kept gently stroking her clit. "Feels so good."

He smiled, shifting his angle. "Move," he whispered. "You feel so fucking good, Nan. So sweet and wet and tight. I love you, baby."

She hitched her knee a little higher and began to rock her hips against him, and he tilted his head down and kissed her again, and she gently sucked against his tongue. He made a low pleased growl deep in his throat, rubbing the base of his thumb rapidly back and forth against her clit. Their thrusts were gentle and shallow, and almost all of his length stayed sheathed inside her. She tightened and released around him, whimpering, and then she gasped when he used his other hand to pinch and stroke her nipple.

"Ned," she whispered when he broke the kiss. "Oh, _oh_..."

"I know," he panted. "Oh God, you feel so good..."

She rubbed her palm down his spine, over his ass, and when she brushed the heel of her hand against his balls he grunted, surging inside her. "Fuck, _fuck_ ," he gasped, and they rocked together, rutting against each other, and he was touching every sensitive place, leaving her quivering. She tipped her head back and Ned kissed her again, and they were still kissing, still joined when he jolted inside her, when she felt him come.

Even so, he still took the time to bring her to another slow, trembling climax, rubbing against her clit, their bodies still tight and close together. He nuzzled against her neck, stifling her groans with kisses, and when she had come she slumped against him, trying to catch her breath, shuddering at any brush of her skin against his.

"I love you," she whimpered. "Oh my God..."

"I love you too," he whispered, and kissed her cheek.

She reached up and cupped his face under her palm. "There is nothing more than this," she whispered, her breathing still hitching, her heart still beating hard as she searched his eyes. "I never want to leave you. I just want you to love me..."

"I do," he whispered, nuzzling against her. "Always. For the rest of our lives, beautiful."

Her eyes pricked with tears. "Do you mean it," she whispered, her eyes closed as she nuzzled against him too. "The first time... during that visit, when we made love... I knew it would be you, that it would always be you... that I wanted to know what it would be, to know you that way..."

He was quiet for a moment. "When I took your virginity I knew, with no doubt, no fear, just total certainty, that I would be yours for the rest of my life. That what you gave me... was everything. All of you."

"I did," she whispered. "And I wanted to. I wanted to give you what you had just given me."

"All I did was take from you, Nan... you gave me everything."

She kissed him, slowly, sweetly. His skin was damp and hot against hers, and when they parted she was slick between her legs, slick with arousal and his seed. He gave her a cloth and she wiped it away. She didn't bother dressing again. She cuddled against him, content as he stroked her back, his other arm wrapped around her waist.

"I'm yours," she whispered. "I always have been."

"And I will always be yours," he whispered. "Always."


End file.
